It is August 27, 2010 01:11 AM.

A few hours ago, I was in dining hall. I saw people smile, people enjoying, I saw the bad food. I saw people who are happy. I realized something, something similar. Everyone around me has self inside and self outside.

First self: Machine Self:
It wants to win. It wants to achieve. It wants to work hard. It wants be the best. It wants to achieve the goals it has set. It cannot handle the words which mean defeat, loss. It completes every assignment on time and completely. It is deprived of Kama, krodha, lobha, moha, mada. This is driven by brain (matsarya) and not by body. Upon loosing, which it cannot understand, it will feel depressed, sad and morose. As it is something which it did not expect.

Second self: Human Self
It has all the qualities of Kama, krodha, lobha, moha, mada. It is driven by body and not the brain. It wants to enjoy and stay satisfied as per body.

When you perform an action or a task at hand, either one of the self's will dominate the situation. Involuntarily/ voluntarily we get dominated by one of them and this defines our character.

When you lie down lazily you are following the second self, when you are working hard you are dominated by first self. And sometimes, these selfs deceive each other for the obvious reasons, they oppose each other, and unfortunately they are housed in the same mind.

Generally, the domination of the self depends on which one, our heart likes. But the problem starts when the selfs deceive each other. The heart would not understand which part of the brain to believe, as the heart likes both brain and the body.
It is up to us ,to decide, using the mind, which self should dominate .

What we should learn is to balance between the matsarya and the Kama, krodha, lobha, moha, mada in the mind.

Old place New thoughts

Life is roller coaster ride. Surely it is, but when you sit in a roller coaster you know where you go. So precisely you know whom you will meet. I met people who don’t have money. People who wish to save money, they don’t like money but they need money. It is hard to digest. When a son looks at his helpless father’s face, it is out of imagination how hard it will be for both of them. Money is probably the most powerful thing in this world. But it doesn’t mean, it defines the world, as it does for some.

Some people struggle, fight loose and win. They hold their lives in one hand and dreams in another. Balancing the weight they work every day and live every night. It is their dreams which give them so much energy and make them live. When obstacles come, and dream starts to disappear into reality, it is not an easy task to stick around.

The beautiful stories of self made men come from furnace of failures and pain. They fail, fall loose retire but they don’t give up.

I have also met people who are greedy for money, greedy for victory. Even they are hard working, they are motivated. But the difference which is simply visible is the attitude. They work hard to become the best, others live to become one of the best. One certainly can see the beauty in their face. The smile on their face will make you happy. They smile from heart and laugh from their stomach. They smile from their lips and laugh from their mind.

Survival........................

“Survival of the F...?”
Nature, it is the master of everything. It is smartest scientist, the fastest decision maker it is everything what we could ever imagine. It seems nature has made our life simpler here. It seems that it is the best. Let us stand back from the excellence of nature and think for a while how it was possible for the nature to get to here. It uses one fact its final frontier of every decision it takes can be derived from this notion. It is a myth which is believed and followed with full word to word perfection- survival of the fittest. Well the nature probably deals with all sorts of chemical element species, or something like an element being replaced in spontaneous reaction. The reason which leads to this replacement is inarguably genuine. So are the reasons which lead to failures or success’s are genuine enough if based on the nature’s mantra.
Everyone is smart these days; they are as fit as the other. Persuading them to be smarter is asking them to be over smart, it is he who wins the deal. And this is probably changing as things work. Working hard doesn’t work any longer. People ask you to do smart work. A replacement of an element doesn’t really bother it. Well the word bother refers to when a person is deprived of his mental peace. It is always the weak which suffers. The weak is never respected. It is never supported. And for the fun to last they are ridiculed and mocked at. The element of love probably is becoming extinct what all exists are the Deadlines, presentations, job sheets etc, if even it exists it is in a small circle covering at most a family. Everything has become a profession and no passion. People no longer attend marriages because they are happy for the couple rather to impress one of the big guys to crack some crap deal. People no longer attend death ceremonies as they share the burden of the pain, it might probably lead them to big thing later on. People no longer smile at each other as they are happy to see each other, they might have some really important thing involving both of their support. People would love to put it this way; it is the next level of survival or we are living in a competitive world. God bless such a world. If it would be possible we could end up a deal with the almighty some time. And they would love to say “we are on constructive talks” in their typical accent. It suffocates here. It is chocking. Congratulations to others who have learned to breathe this filth. It is no longer survival of the fittest –survival of the filthiest. Don’t think straight it would never work. Don’t say the truth it wouldn’t help. Betray others if the profit lines are high. Do not help unless you get back anything. Well the guide lines are immense.
It would never make a difference if I even shout all this out or make posters and stick it all over the place, or even if I blog it. It just lessens the burden. And it gives me great pleasure to introduce myself as an integral part of it. Trying the filthiest best to survive here.